23rd July

23rd July Sunny

Was on grey mode this morning.. after lunch i was back to my yellow mode..

I met my JC Taekwondo VP last Friday at the MRT at my house. We were chatting on msn since. We had set up a dinner-coffee session with 2 other team mates this coming Saturday. The best had yet to be --- I am going back for training this coming Friday evening. Very excited over it indeed.

When i was a kid, I would pass by CCs and see ppl train but never had enough of XXX to send me into signing up. My dream came through in JC. I joined the TKD club. Though I did not achieve very high belt, but I was contented and happy to be with my team mates. The best of my JC days I would say.

Something to look forward to, something to occupy my mind, something to keep me busy. Just what I need seriously.

Thanks.

21st July

21st July 2009 A bit cloudy

Yeah, I am able to continue with the diary style.. haha.
This morning felt a bit "ding" by a person. And putting me at a cross junction.
Something must be wrong with me that kept pushing me to stand in a junction. Whatever decision I make will affect me greatly.. to turn left or right? Or to stay put and wait for the car to come by to run me down? I do not know..

Was k'ing last Sunday night till 12plus, felt very tired and no feeling yesterday. Dragged myself to school. Thought that life was very stressful. BTW, I had brought the stress to myself, so can only blame myself la. I will continue to study. But not sure if I would want take the exams this December or next June. If take it this Dec, will miss a might-be-trip-of-a-lifetime. If in June, I will need to study and revise on my own..

I wish I can get through all these, by past the decision making and reach a conclusion. But it is not possible. I need to walk through these myself, I will.

17th July 2009

17th July 2009, Friday
Weather: Hot Sunny (Sunny Side Down, coz it is shining on us)

Nice start ya, been wanting to write a diary kind of blog, but it could be too much for myself. Do not want to expose my life to everyone.. everyone got to have some kind of dark secrets right? Seems in tune with Harry Potter.

Well, life had been ok for me (need to be contented right). Seriously I have nothing much to ask for, except for more money, a stable job, good results, and also a good death (carried away~)
Not many good things happening so far, except for 1 that is.. hm.. expecting the result to be available by next week, hopefully no more waiting. Oh, there is another 1 and another 1.

First another 1, a spa trip pending to be confirmed for Aug.. *Sparkle* Really brightens up everything you can imagine.. finally something relaxing
Second another 1, is a big *SPARKLE* Sorry but this is one of the secrets, not dark, just a bit bright for me.

Time is crawling so slowly, hope it can come by faster.. please...

有些事

有些事，一再的重復者就變得沒有意義了。 但是為什么會有人能夠把他說的那么好聽，說是越戰越勇？覺得好累好累，精神累了，心累了，身體也是吧，往后走了之后，希望朋友們能夠好好的。

一次一次的跌倒，受傷，每一次就當正要康復的時候，又摔了一跤。以為一次會比一次復原的快，可能有點，但是一次比一次傷的更重。是麻木的開始嗎？希望能夠早點逃出。你設的圈套。

近來

很久沒有寫東西了，為自己找了借口。只是因為知道自己一開始寫，很可能會開始悲傷起來。
曾經告訴一個朋友，當我寫的東西很多的時候，是我低潮。真的是這樣。
因為悲傷的時候，會有很多的情緒不斷的飄來浮去。本來就是個較悲觀的人，縱然親戚朋友都說小時候的我很愛笑。小時不知愁吧。
雖讓平時也沒有什么大時能讓我去愁的，但是有點喜歡憂郁的感覺。是在憂郁的時候才會去整理自己的心。對的，高興的時候通常是把所有的事情都忘得一干二凈。
所以有時候喜歡把自己逼到邊緣，有時候在邊緣反而更積極的對待一切。
可能你覺得我很怪，但是那是我處事的方式。很對不起說出這樣的話。就好像明明是要提出分手的人，卻又一直要求對方給於承諾，這樣的人很卑鄙吧？對自己卑鄙。

是吧

不完美

最近听了一首歌，不是太久以前的歌。可能以前也没有好好的听，所以并没有特别的感触。是人经历了受伤以及失措，才会有那麼多的感觸吗？

你常常說 我很完美 沒人能取代 我給的一切
你也常说我很好，你会珍惜。但怎么也感觉不到你的珍惜，是我太木头，还是你的方式只有你懂？

我就以為 我努力更完美 我們 就會永遠
不是
我甚至以为 自己不再完美

完美並不美 我們多虛偽 你讓我的好 變成一種罪
为了你犯的罪

完美並不美 當你愛了誰 我的完美也只是 不完美
当一个人不再是自己时，一切都不美
已经改变了的，不能再从来
尤其是失去了自己

後來你說 我太完美 值得更好的 陪在我身邊 你不是我 你怎麼能體會 你有 多麼珍貴
像我不懂 不懂 不懂

Cool baking

I had been trying out to do some baking few days.. hee... seems like reporting my results..

First time thing i tried was muffins.. later realised that I got a wrong receipe and it is actually cupcakes.. but, looking at my result below, it still looks like muffin.. thank goodness.. I made some caramel apple.. tala..

The next thing that I tried was scones.. Inspiration from a book that i borrowed from NLB. It is a book about the cafes at some English countryside. I like scones, and the descriptions and pictures in the books are so.. i decided to try my hands on it... but my result looks.. arr.. needless to say..

Now the 3rd and 4th and the next thing i tried are with yanting, baoling, xiaoqin and friends, we did oatmeal cookies and corn flake cookies.. see how colourful we made out corn flake cookies.. sort of naughty but that is the way young ppl should be.. should i say count me out of the trick? Haa.. really did enjoy myself

Seems that baking is not such a difficult thing to do at all.. interested ppl, pls call 9-try-bake